I don’t want to have to adopt……

In a perfect world there would be no orphans!  Not because they would all be adopted but because they would be with their biological parents and siblings enjoying a perfect life.  However, that world doesn’t currently exist.  As a future adoptive mother I wish I didn’t HAVE to adopt.  I would love nothing more than to see all children with their birth parents, but our world has far too much pain, loss, & poverty for that to happen.

November is National Adoption Month and it’s been so encouraging to see television shows like the Today Show promote and share incredible stories about adoption.  However there is no doubt that adoption has many challenges that many people don’t know about.  The orphan crisis has it’s own concept in everyone’s mind but it’s your heart that leads you to believe the truth in the matter.

Personally, I’ve seen many orphanages and know some foster parents that are wonderfully successful in making every child feel loved, cared for and appreciated.  These institutions and families are to be greatly commended and their love and hard work should continue on!!  However, adoption is and will always be a huge part of the orphan crisis solution!

This month, not only has the good of adoption been shared, but the sad reality has been shown too. Corruption exists in many countries around the world. Interestingly enough, adoptive parents are some of the most informed people in regards to this topic.  My husband and I planned to adopt from Haiti through a seemingly wonderful organization but little did we know a lot was going on behind closed doors that no one knew about. However, this corruption can’t produce paralyzing fear…in our case there are two childrens lives at stake in Africa.  

Obviously children are the ones who suffer the most during institutionalization, corrupt foster care, and corrupt adoptions.  So, whats the greatest act of resolution? I believe it’s found by looking within ourselves. What are we called to do individually?  Not everyone was created to adopt or foster but we were all created to love, give, and support those in NEED! Those in need include orphans & biological parents. It’s hard to celebrate adoption when you know it was caused by great loss, but we must step in and support families and most importantly fill the gap. (James 1:27, John 14:18, & Philippines 2:4…….)

So, how does National Adoption Month affect you if you’re not adopting….from within, the Lord will lead you to know what you can and should do to help those in need.  I can promise you this…it is not to sit idle and watch people and the world lose a battle to the enemy of God! All of humanity can do it’s part to help those in need. At one time or another we will all be in need too.

There is hope in loss.… we must believe that!

Much more than a home for an orphan…..

I know everyone can relate to this statement: “It’s just been one of those mornings!” As a parent, sometimes it’s difficult getting your kiddos up and around in a peaceful, happy manner.  Sometimes, just collecting everything you need for your day or getting where you’re trying to go is a struggle.  However, today was a much different morning for this momma.  Before 9am I was on a emotional roller coaster only The Lord Himself could stop.

I sat down with my morning coffee to get in The Word, but instead I went to social media.  Big mistake, yet blessing in disguise….I read a blog by a woman who has adopted from Africa and it was a very honest and candid post about the difficulties of the first two years. I was immediately flooded with tons of emotions: fear, anxiety, and doubt. However, I’m learning not to be naive about adoption and to appreciate the openness of the true struggles it will entail. 

With a heavy heart I went back to the task at hand…getting into The Lord’s presence! I opened my daily devotional which was titled, “Feeling for Others – Part 1.” In short, this message was just for me this morning!  It was about having compassion for those in pain and need…

The closing prayer was: “Heavenly Father, give ME the compassion YOU have and show to others – help me to cry with those who weep! In Jesus’ Name, Amen”.

It struck me while I was reading this, and even just when I saw the title in my inbox, adoption is not just about giving an orphan(s) a home it’s about crying with them during their grief, holding them in their fear, & smiling with them in their joys.

We’ve signed up for something much greater than just adding to our family….we’ve signed up for the ups and downs of helping heal the brokenness of this world.  Many adopted children deal with abandonment, sorrow, and anger that was unfairly put on their little lives because of the fallen world we live in.

After pondering Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn”, I opened my email to find a truly God-sent piece of information. I know learning our Congolese children’s language is a must, for us, and that bringing their culture into our home will be a key as well….so I’d been doing research on tutors and international students in our area from The Congo. 

A huge weight was lifted when I read that Norman, Oklahoma has a French and African Language Center!  For a girl who struggled in school and with languages, even her own, I felt like The Lord was just wrapping His arms around me saying, “You’re not going to do this alone, I will guide your path and give you strength and wisdom greater than you could ever imagine!”

Our agency and adoption community has been so helpful in helping get us on the right path of preparation, for example, I read one adoptee’s perspective that began with this piece of wisdom, “Adoption is not possible without loss.” It doesn’t matter how old your children are or if they have living parents or not, they’ve all lost something to get to the point of adoption. Love isn’t going to be enough, weathering the storm with them will play a huge role.  

We’re about to embark on a journey of healing, transition, struggle, great joys, and so much more but God doesn’t call the equipped he equips the called!! So, what did The Lord teach me before 9am this morning?

1. We will stand firm in His calling, “To look after the orphans in their distress…” James 1:27
2. We will pray fervently for strength and wisdom to love, cherish, and mold our family into the blessings He has planned for us
3. We will believe that The Lord can and will do miracles in all four of our children’s lives, as well as our own, that no psychologist, doctor, or social worker could ever understand
4. We will study and learn about the possible struggles that lie ahead, but we will have faith that The Lord has called us to this purpose to bring glory to His name!

We are all adopted into the family of God when we choose to believe in His son Jesus Christ so the challenges of adoption are nothing a Christian hasn’t faced before.

An Open Door in The Congo…

With tearful eyes and joyous hearts we’re excited to announce that The Lord has blessed our way to purse adoption from the Democratic Republic of the Congo in Africa. The past month as been one crazy roller coaster. Just a few weeks ago we thought we were on the verge of getting a referral (finding out who our children would be) in Haiti. The next day we received an email from our agency that they had not been chosen as one of the 19 agency’s in Haiti that could legally adopt. They gave us some options to move forward with a Haitian adoption but after much prayer, conversation, and tears we knew the Lord was closing the door for us in Haiti. Ultimately, we were taking a big risk financially and emotionally by trying to stick it out in Haiti and we thought it was most wise, in our case, to remove our dossier (paperwork) from there.

This decision was obviously very hard since Adam and I have a HUGE heart for Haiti and will forever. In doing some research with other agency’s we realized no other agency would take us (because of our age, 30) for a Haiti adoption but one country was in need of adoptive families, THE CONGO. We’ve been blessed to know an amazing family who adopted from The Congo this past year and their sweet son is in Macy’s class at school and church.

We looked into adoption through Oklahoma’s DHS but after a handful of conversations and research we realized this too would be a very long and uncertain road. Our heart is to adopt and we believe the Lord has called us to two boys between 1-4 years old…this just isn’t realistic with the system in place in our country.

So, on May 6th, 2013 All Blessings International accepted us into their Congolese adoption program. I’m currently working on getting our dossier switched over from Haiti to The Congo which we’re believing will be an easier process then we thought…all documents still are translated into French and many of our documents can be used again for our agency and dossier for the Congo.

We would appreciate your continued prayer as we transfer papers, walk through the door in a war-torn country, and dare to risk loving the unloved.

Why the Congo
Facts about the Democratic Republic of the Congo:

– The Congo is the 3rd largest country in Africa
– They were at war from 1998 – 2003 (and it is on going)
– The war is the deadliest conflict since WWII
– Over 5.4 million people have died since 1998
– Congo’s life expenctancy is 46 years
– over 5.2 million Congolese children receive no education
– over 1.2 million people are infected with HIV-almost, 60% of those infected are women
– Malaria kills 400 children a day
– Sexual violence against women and female children is the worst anywhere in the world
– 37% (18.5 million) of the Congolese people do not have access to medical care
– In 2010 DRC became ranked as the number one poorest country in the world
– National maternal mortality is 1837 per 100,000 live births, one of the worst in the world
– Only 45% have access to safe drinking water

I share these stats because The Congo needs our prayers, support, and love and we hope to be a small part of the help they need by bringing two of their orphans into our loving home.

Our Adoption Update 1

Well it’s been a while since I’ve blogged…I guess life with two kiddos is kinda crazy!! I can only imagine what it will be like after we adopt two more.

Adam and I feel called to adopt two children from Haiti. We’re interested in siblings or twins but we will of course adopt the greatest need the orphanage has!

We have some excited news…we’ve completed our home study as of today! The two home visits, blood work, and 40 pages of paperwork have been completed! We should have the official documentation for completion in a few weeks.

This is our first big step towards adopting and the next is choosing an agency. We’ve already had many changes and updates to our process because of the changes Haiti is currently making to their adoptions.

As of now, the country of Haiti will announce which agency’s they will approve around October 1st which will be great since our home study will just have been processed.

The agency we hoped to work with, Sparrow Adoptions currently has too many families waiting to get there children home from Haiti so they are not taking on any more families. This was a set back for sure, but now that we know all of Haiti’s changes the timing is actually all fitting into place.

After we choose an agency we’ll confirm if we can still adopt thru H.I.S. Home Orphanage. Another important step before being partnered with our children is to actually go to Haiti to be interviewed by the Haitian Social Services. Hopefully we can do that in early 2013.

We’re looking at around 18 months before our kids come home with us…but we’ll see 🙂

Thanks for all your prayers and support!