4 weeks & 4 days

The count down has been on for a while…and like I’ve said its so bittersweet for me. We can’t wait to meet miss Macy but I’m trying the cherish every movement she makes while she’s still in my womb, especially since this will be my last pregnancy.

Adam has officially finished his ‘honey do list’ and he did it with ease, as usually, he’s such a handy man! We could have Macy tomorrow and we’d be set!! Ellie has her big girl room and Macy’s nursery is ready. If you haven’t already seen pics check these out:

My feelings on birth these days…

Okay, so I’m going out on a limb here to share my birth experience as well as express my feeling about all the controversy surrounding vaginal births vs. c-section, but here goes.

I chose to be induced with Ellie at 39 weeks for two reasons: 1. So my family who lives in Chicago could make the birth and plan to fly down 2. Because my brother’s wedding was 6 days after my due date.

It was more important to me to have my family at the delivery and to not miss my brother’s wedding (in Chicago) then to avoid a possible c-section. So, I’ve now officially admitted that I induced for purely selfish reasons….

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about us “convenience” moms and how we’re so selfish and unnatural. One I would agree with, yes my decision was purely selfish, but I wouldn’t take it back! But in terms of being unnatural, I breast feed Ellie for 11 months, that’s a lot longer than most moms I know, so I don’t think I’m really that unnatural.

An important aspect to all of this is that I knew when I made my decision to induce I personally had a 65% chance of having a c-section for two reasons 1. I had not progressed or began the labor process at all on my own 2. Ellie was very comfortable pressed tightly against my left groan area (head down) but not in the birth canal.

Did I want a c-section? No. Was I sad when I only progressed to 5 cm after being on pitocin for 8 hours, yes! Ellie’s heart rate had been dipping off and on but my doctor did give me the choice to turn the pitocin off until the next morning and try it again…but I decided against it.

So, I think no one really has an excuse to be mad about having a c-section because you should know all the options and be prepared for what you want as long as your baby isn’t at risk. For example, my sister-in-laws sister took option two to turn her meds off and induce again the next day…she did end up have a vaginal birth but she told me she wishes so would have just had a c-section, her birth was horrible!

In regards to the actual c-section, mine was absolutely amazing. It was very special and still as emotional as any other birth. Not everyone has an easy c-section just like not everyone has an easy vaginal delivery but once again you need to be informed about how to make recovery as quick as possible…like getting up and walking around at least 6 hours after surgery.

Now on to my repeat c-section. In Oklahoma I have the choice to deliver at the specific hospitals that do VBAC’s, vaginal births after c-section, but of course I’d have to switch hospitals and doctors and accept the risks that VBAC’S pose. The two risks are 1. Possible tearing of your c-section scar which can led to deadly bleeding, for the baby, in the uterus as well as 2. The possibility that my body just won’t delivery naturally and I’ll have done all that “work” for nothing…

It is exciting to hear success stories of VBAC’S but even some of those have led to additional surgeries after delivery… So, after weighing my feelings and talking to multiple doctors, nurses, and moms I will be having another c-section with Macy.

What are the benefits to a repeat c-section? Most likely I will not experience hemorrhoids, after delivery or for the next 20 plus years like some women do, I will most likely not experience bladder and urinary issues for the rest of my life, and I will never experience the feeling of stitches on or in my vagina. Would I accept all these side affects of a vaginal birth in return for a healthy baby, of course!!! But if I have a choice with additional risks I would of course choose a repeat c-section.

So, there’s the heart of a selfish mother if you were ever wondering or judging…at least you know my side now. In regards to c-sections being unnatural and not the way God created birth, Ellie was perfectly healthy and coherent at delivery. A misconception is that epidurals and/or c-sections are so bad for the baby and mom… This wasn’t true in my case and like I said its a myth not fact… So I’ll stand on God’s truth that, “He knit me together in my mothers womb”, and I am no worse of a mother then my mother was just because I had a c-section.

Feel free to comment…it won’t offend me…I’ve heard it all and remember these are my feelings, opinions, and collected information from professionals and people I know.

My last pregnancy but not my last baby!!

So, I was thinking today about how this will most likely be my last pregnancy. That thought spurred me on to thoughts of trying to appreciate it for all that it is… The ups and downs of pregnancy. I’m really trying not to complain or be negative when I obviously asked for this amazing gift, even though it can be bittersweet.

The things about pregnancy I’m going to miss so much are the amazing movements you feel and see from inside your belly. The precious gift of growing a little human in your own body and the amazing day when you get to see your babies face for the first time…

But even during the hard times (morning sickness, headaches, uncomfortableness…) I’m still stricken by the sadness of never getting to do this again! This most likely being my last baby to breastfeed, put in newborn clothes, give it’s first bath, and so much more!

However I am looking forward to sacrificing this gift of pregnancy for adopting more children some day soon. Knowing that there are millions of children without parents hurts my heart and I look forward to the day we hold our future children for the first time.

Adam is going to visit H.I.S. Home in Haiti this May for our first visit to where we plan to adopt from! And once we fill out our paperwork we will start the 1 or so year process of adoption…Man I’m glad pregnancy isn’t a year long 😉

Thank you Lord for children….

Macy Lou Barnett

On Thanksgiving Adam and I made it official that we’re naming baby girl #2 Macy Lou! Macy is a name we’ve loved since my first pregnancy with Ellie…. So, I kinda figured we’d come back around to it since we both like it. Lou is Adam’s moms middle name!

Both Ellie and Macy will have a part of their grandmothers in them since Marie, Ellie’s middle name, is my mother’s middle name!

Check out our version of Wheel of Fortune that we played on BG and Papa’s refridgerator….

It’s a _______!!

It was a blast to find out the gender of our new little baby on Monday!! We hosted a party at our house to celebrate this new life, as well as, to find out if we’re having a girl or boy!!

We did some fun things: We had everyone vote on what gender they thought it was going to be and then took a picture of everyone with either pink lips or a mustaches! Check out the pics:

Adam and I guessed on the gender prior to the surprise… I thought it was a boy because this pregnancy has been much more difficult and different from mine with Ellie… Adam thought it was a girl because he believes God has gifted him with being a great ‘girls’ dad!! (which is very true) Ellie was a little wishy washy on her guess. Sometimes she said she thought mommy was having a sister and other times she said it’s a brother…

The way we revealed the gender was by having cake balls made with the gender color inside!! Adam and I took a bite out of one to reveal the color…

We were so excited and shocked to see PINK!!! We can’t wait to add another GIRL to our little family. We have another ultrasound December 2nd to double check the gender as well as make sure our little girl is growing and developing perfectly!!

Her name may be announced before Christmas but we may keep it a secret…. But we have to pick one first… so please pray for us 😉