My feelings on birth these days…

Okay, so I’m going out on a limb here to share my birth experience as well as express my feeling about all the controversy surrounding vaginal births vs. c-section, but here goes.

I chose to be induced with Ellie at 39 weeks for two reasons: 1. So my family who lives in Chicago could make the birth and plan to fly down 2. Because my brother’s wedding was 6 days after my due date.

It was more important to me to have my family at the delivery and to not miss my brother’s wedding (in Chicago) then to avoid a possible c-section. So, I’ve now officially admitted that I induced for purely selfish reasons….

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about us “convenience” moms and how we’re so selfish and unnatural. One I would agree with, yes my decision was purely selfish, but I wouldn’t take it back! But in terms of being unnatural, I breast feed Ellie for 11 months, that’s a lot longer than most moms I know, so I don’t think I’m really that unnatural.

An important aspect to all of this is that I knew when I made my decision to induce I personally had a 65% chance of having a c-section for two reasons 1. I had not progressed or began the labor process at all on my own 2. Ellie was very comfortable pressed tightly against my left groan area (head down) but not in the birth canal.

Did I want a c-section? No. Was I sad when I only progressed to 5 cm after being on pitocin for 8 hours, yes! Ellie’s heart rate had been dipping off and on but my doctor did give me the choice to turn the pitocin off until the next morning and try it again…but I decided against it.

So, I think no one really has an excuse to be mad about having a c-section because you should know all the options and be prepared for what you want as long as your baby isn’t at risk. For example, my sister-in-laws sister took option two to turn her meds off and induce again the next day…she did end up have a vaginal birth but she told me she wishes so would have just had a c-section, her birth was horrible!

In regards to the actual c-section, mine was absolutely amazing. It was very special and still as emotional as any other birth. Not everyone has an easy c-section just like not everyone has an easy vaginal delivery but once again you need to be informed about how to make recovery as quick as possible…like getting up and walking around at least 6 hours after surgery.

Now on to my repeat c-section. In Oklahoma I have the choice to deliver at the specific hospitals that do VBAC’s, vaginal births after c-section, but of course I’d have to switch hospitals and doctors and accept the risks that VBAC’S pose. The two risks are 1. Possible tearing of your c-section scar which can led to deadly bleeding, for the baby, in the uterus as well as 2. The possibility that my body just won’t delivery naturally and I’ll have done all that “work” for nothing…

It is exciting to hear success stories of VBAC’S but even some of those have led to additional surgeries after delivery… So, after weighing my feelings and talking to multiple doctors, nurses, and moms I will be having another c-section with Macy.

What are the benefits to a repeat c-section? Most likely I will not experience hemorrhoids, after delivery or for the next 20 plus years like some women do, I will most likely not experience bladder and urinary issues for the rest of my life, and I will never experience the feeling of stitches on or in my vagina. Would I accept all these side affects of a vaginal birth in return for a healthy baby, of course!!! But if I have a choice with additional risks I would of course choose a repeat c-section.

So, there’s the heart of a selfish mother if you were ever wondering or judging…at least you know my side now. In regards to c-sections being unnatural and not the way God created birth, Ellie was perfectly healthy and coherent at delivery. A misconception is that epidurals and/or c-sections are so bad for the baby and mom… This wasn’t true in my case and like I said its a myth not fact… So I’ll stand on God’s truth that, “He knit me together in my mothers womb”, and I am no worse of a mother then my mother was just because I had a c-section.

Feel free to comment…it won’t offend me…I’ve heard it all and remember these are my feelings, opinions, and collected information from professionals and people I know.

My last pregnancy but not my last baby!!

So, I was thinking today about how this will most likely be my last pregnancy. That thought spurred me on to thoughts of trying to appreciate it for all that it is… The ups and downs of pregnancy. I’m really trying not to complain or be negative when I obviously asked for this amazing gift, even though it can be bittersweet.

The things about pregnancy I’m going to miss so much are the amazing movements you feel and see from inside your belly. The precious gift of growing a little human in your own body and the amazing day when you get to see your babies face for the first time…

But even during the hard times (morning sickness, headaches, uncomfortableness…) I’m still stricken by the sadness of never getting to do this again! This most likely being my last baby to breastfeed, put in newborn clothes, give it’s first bath, and so much more!

However I am looking forward to sacrificing this gift of pregnancy for adopting more children some day soon. Knowing that there are millions of children without parents hurts my heart and I look forward to the day we hold our future children for the first time.

Adam is going to visit H.I.S. Home in Haiti this May for our first visit to where we plan to adopt from! And once we fill out our paperwork we will start the 1 or so year process of adoption…Man I’m glad pregnancy isn’t a year long

Thank you Lord for children….

Macy Lou Barnett

On Thanksgiving Adam and I made it official that we’re naming baby girl #2 Macy Lou! Macy is a name we’ve loved since my first pregnancy with Ellie…. So, I kinda figured we’d come back around to it since we both like it. Lou is Adam’s moms middle name!

Both Ellie and Macy will have a part of their grandmothers in them since Marie, Ellie’s middle name, is my mother’s middle name!

Check out our version of Wheel of Fortune that we played on BG and Papa’s refridgerator….

It’s a _______!!

It was a blast to find out the gender of our new little baby on Monday!! We hosted a party at our house to celebrate this new life, as well as, to find out if we’re having a girl or boy!!

We did some fun things: We had everyone vote on what gender they thought it was going to be and then took a picture of everyone with either pink lips or a mustaches! Check out the pics:

Adam and I guessed on the gender prior to the surprise… I thought it was a boy because this pregnancy has been much more difficult and different from mine with Ellie… Adam thought it was a girl because he believes God has gifted him with being a great ‘girls’ dad!! (which is very true) Ellie was a little wishy washy on her guess. Sometimes she said she thought mommy was having a sister and other times she said it’s a brother…

The way we revealed the gender was by having cake balls made with the gender color inside!! Adam and I took a bite out of one to reveal the color…

We were so excited and shocked to see PINK!!! We can’t wait to add another GIRL to our little family. We have another ultrasound December 2nd to double check the gender as well as make sure our little girl is growing and developing perfectly!!

Her name may be announced before Christmas but we may keep it a secret…. But we have to pick one first… so please pray for us

13 weeks and counting…

This pregnancy has already been quite dramatic but, as always, it is teaching us to trust the Lord! At 8 weeks I had some pretty bad cramps and went in to my doctor the next morning to see if everything was okay…And of course it was!! Then last week at 12 weeks I had some bleeding. I never experienced this with Ellie so Adam and I were pretty freaked out. So, we went to the ER since it was after hours. After refusing two different pregnancy tests they agreed to just bring in the ultrasound machine and check for the heartbeat….

In that bittersweet moment all our fears were washed away when we saw our little babies 170 beats per minute heart rate! He/she was sleeping so the doctor decided to wake our little human up my shaking my belly. It was so crazy because we’ve seen the baby a couple times before and it was a tadpole or gummybear but at 12 weeks it looks like a baby human!! Anyway, after a little shaking our baby woke up and rubbed it’s eyes…. AMAZING!! It moved around a little more and the doctor was satisfied with his findings in my belly =)

Here’s the view of my bump at 13 weeks…it’s bigger then it was with Ellie at this point but I weigh less so I guess it balances out…

13 Weeks

Adoption on hold….Baby on the way….

I know many of you have been following our adventure of adoption and children so I wanted to give you an update! I haven’t blogged in awhile because we’ve been waiting to make this announcement….

In April Ellie will be a big sister!! I’m 10 weeks and 1 day pregnant and will most likely have baby #2 on April 23rd since it’ll be a repeat c-section. Our little angels heart rate was 170 today and we’ve seen it’s little gummy bear body.

We are beyond excited, humbled, and blessed to share this news. Having babies hasn’t been an easy process for us so we truly treasure Ellie and this new little life! Over the past 6 months I’ve been researching adoption from Haiti and domestic and I’m pretty sure we’ll be adopting from Haiti in about 2 years.

It’s amazing to think that our adopted children may not give me nausea, contractions, or stretch marks but our passion and heart for their lives is just as strong and meaningful as Ellie and Barnett Baby #2. Adam and I are so excited for this next chapter in life…”children” and I think Ellie’s ready to not be the only child

Thank you for your continued prayers over the next 29 weeks!

Here’s our little gummy bear at 8 weeks 4 days. It’s first heart rate was 120 at 6 weeks, then 160 during this ultrasound, and 170 today at 10 weeks!

Our Baby is 2!

This weekend marked two years of life for our little miracle!! I can’t believe it’s been two years since we checked into the hospital for Ellie’s day of birth….

If you haven’t seen already, Ellie broke her elbow four days before her birthday!! So, much of the week was taking care of her and preparing for her party Saturday. I was blessed to have my mother and brother in on Wednesday this week and they were tons of help!! And Ellie’s cast was waterproof which was perfect since we had a pool party for her

This week Ellie will be starting ‘school’ or what they call ‘mother’s day out’ but it feels like we signed her up for kindergarden…. It should be very interested, since they’ll be helping me finish Ellie’s potty training and teaching her to take a nap on a mat with 30 other kids in the room?!?

Anyway, her are pictures from Ellie’s 2nd Birthday weekend:

Praying the scriptures for your children, husband, work…..

My mentor recommended I read the book “Praying the scriptures for your Children” by Jodie Berndt and it’s been a true blessing. This book has really made me think…what else can and should I be praying the scriptures over? My husband, parents, friends, siblings, job, church, and community…

So, I wanted to share with you all some insights I’ve gained in the first few chapters of this book that I think apply to everyone! One of the most amazing stories thus far in the book is about Hudson Taylor. He was the first Christian missionary to take the gospel to China. Jodie talks about his mother and the sacrifice she made by watching her son board a ship to Asia. Hudson’s mother didn’t know if she’d ever see him again and she wrote about the joy and heartache in her own book years later. An amazing quote Jodie shares from Amelia’s (Hudson’s mother) book is this: “I could not put the ointment on His blessed feet, as Mary did, but I gave him my boy.”

Wow, what an amazing perspective…because little did she know her son would spent 51 years in China in Jesus’ name. The society that he began was responsible for bringing over 800 missionaries to the country who began 125 schools and directly resulted in 18,000 Christian conversions, as well as the establishment of more than 300 stations of work with more than 500 local helpers in all eighteen provinces.

This chapter on ‘Praying for your children to promote God’s Kingdom’ really rocked my world because I know the Lord is going to use all my children, Ellie, and all those to come to be His servants and I must be willing to pray for them no matter the cost to me! Jodie says, “When you pray for your children to promote God’s kingdom, you must be prepared to let them respond to their call – even if it means incurring risk or making great sacrifices.”

I know Adam and I’s parents have done this for us. When we began traveling overseas for mission trips in 2005 they were very weary to let us go, but 15 or so trips later, we know God has given them the strength to trust God’s will for us!

After reading this chapter I was encouraged by the Holy Spirit to not just let this book push me to pray for Ellie but to pray for our children to come as well as many other important things in my life. When I was a Junior in high school one of my summer camp leaders challenged me to start praying for my husband…even though I had never met him before. Little did I know I would meet the man of my dreams at that same camp two years later!!

In Jodie’s book each chapter ends with at least 10 prayers I can read that come straight from a scripture in the Bible. It’s wonderful!

So, who are you intentionally praying for? Be encouraged and never stop praying!

Adoption and Babies!!!

So, it’s been way to long since I’ve last blogged, but oh well, I’m back at it! Now that we’re back from Haiti and vacations with family….Adam and I are really starting to pray and think through the process of having more children. We were ‘highly recommended” not to get pregnant before our trip to Haiti so we’re hoping the Lord will bless us soon with another child of our own…but we’ll see what the Lords timing is on that! In the mean time I’ve made a large step in our adoption process!

I’ve spoken to a few overseas adoption agencies and they basically told me that Adam and I don’t qualify until at least 35 years old for an adoption in Haiti. Discouraged, I called an organization in Texas called Share Adoptions, where we have a friend that works, and they told me about another side to the ‘process’ we could do. We can do a private adoption, without an agency, where we can get a Presidential waiver to adopt. This means I book us for a homestudy(the first step in adoption) with a local organization and then call Share Adoptions back for help with the rest. Because we don’t live in Texas “Share” can’t do our whole adoption but the Director has offered to help us! After the homestudy we need to pick an orphange in Haiti which, we belive will be “His Home”, and then we’ll start all the rest of the paperwork….

A fun twist to this story is that we’re also very open to private adoption in Oklahoma. As many of you know…doctors and hospitals have mothers who walk in to give birth with no plans to keep the baby. I would love and be honored to adopt and child from Oklahoma as a newborn!! So, this homestudy would allow us to start that process too. The exciting thing about adopting a newborn would be: being able to nurse again. I love having that special bond with my baby and would be blessed to do that with an adopted child.

Anyway, I’ll keep you all posted on this and start a tab for our adoption so you can see dates, details, and steps to come!! Love you all and we appeciate your support!!

HAITI 2011

I’ve been putting this blog off for two weeks now because I was going to wait until we got more pictures of our trip but I can’t wait any longer….This year was my second trip to Haiti and Adam’s third. Our team was made up of OU athletes, coaches, staff, alumni, family, and Journey Church staff. Last year we had the whole OU Women’s Basketball team and this year 9 of the Men’s Football team asked to join so we ended up with 40 people on our team!

Our trip this year was unbelievable. It’s hard to explain the way God moves while you’re serving in a third world country, but our trip this year was definitely one of our top trips ever! There were some major ups and downs during our visit but I guess it’s just a beautiful reflection of the way life really is! One of the most special times of the day was at 7 am when we all met to hear God’s word on the beach.

Each morning someone different shared an encouraging word and we either ended in prayer, song, or baptism. It was truly an unforgettable sight and experience. 4 athletes gave their lives to Christ and I felt beyond blessed to have shared in that moment with them while Adam baptized them in the ocean!

Throughout the week our group served Mission of Hope by painting new homes, schools, or by ministering to children at the school or orphanage. ‘Ministering’ is a term I would use for both us and the Haitians because I know our group brought love and joy to everyone we spent time with but they ministered to our team just as powerfully!

It was amazing to watch people like my brother, or a big football guy love on little children all day every day! I know God’s heart was so pleased and honored by the way they served and gave of themselves. One particular memory I’ll cherish was watching one of the girl basketball players holding a naked toddler in her arms for an at least an hour during our children’s program. They all stepped out of their comfort zone to show the love of God and in return many of them found the love of Christ for the first time.

Having Ellie with us last year was great but it was very freeing to be able to do more this year…I enjoyed some time in the Village of Hope as well as in the 3 Cords workplace. The Village of Hope is Mission of Hope’s orphanage where 62 children live and 3 Cords is a company MOH started to employee amputees and their families after the earthquake.

Thanks for all the prayers during our trip…God moved and Haiti’s Hope is in the Lord’s hands!